Over the years of seeing people fall in and out of love, I unconsciously managed to turn my humanity off and eventually became an apathetic creature with just air coming in and out of my lungs. Sad, but we are currently living in a generation of proverbial hookups and no-strings-attached culture that even something as innocent as “liking” someone has evolved into a manifestation of weakness.
I constantly remind myself that the only people I will open myself up to are those who make me aware that they want me in their lives but the funny thing is, you didn’t really trick me into this abysmal fall.
You are neither the most kind-hearted nor the best-looking person I know and I haven’t even started talking about how different our worlds are but you go beyond my cerebral cortex.
I may not have a list of my non-negotiables but I was 99% sure you are were not my cup of tea nor my cup of coffee. I am fully aware, though, how likeable you are even if I have totally no idea what your middle name is. See? I don’t know you that much but I guess, the 1% betrayed me and tricked me into falling for you.
Our friends have been rooting for us, but being the cold-hearted emotionless living creature that I am was, I didn’t give in just yet. Was I only in denial? No! Because all their indictments just don’t didn’t make sense.
Fast forward to THAT night (or morning), this fascination grew to the kind of affection that comes absolutely out of nowhere with no logical source of origin. Maybe, it has been there all along waiting to be acknowledged. But because I haven’t actually liked anyone this much before, I dismissed the possibility of liking someone I don’t share the same ideals with. How is that even chemically possible?
We don’t really talk much about life but we do have small talks and sometimes, just the mere thought of you, breathing the same air as mine, makes me giddy and I despise myself for taking delight in such fleeting moments.
But life is made of choices, and I chose to like you. I don’t expect you to reciprocate the feelings, heck, you don’t even need to know about it! I don’t want to jeopardize the friendship we haven’t even built, yet.
I have adored all of God’s creations and the metaphor they imply, but trust me, I want wanted to have these butterflies killed. I even resulted to googling “How to Know if You Have Fallen for Him” and subsequently googled “How to Stop Liking Someone” but nothing there was practicable, I gave up trying to push these thoughts away cuz it already felt like there’s no point anymore. So for now, let me enjoy this unexpected magical emotion I didn’t know I am capable of. I am past the infatuation stage but hopefully, nothing soul-deep level, yet.
So this is me, a newbie in this industry, finally admitting to you and most importantly, to myself too, that I like you.
Let’s celebrate the return of my humanity, anyone??? Drinks on me!!!!!!